


Honk: The Story of a Goose

by written_in_starlight



Category: Untitled Goose Game (Video Game)
Genre: goose is a menace, however goose is a goose and therefore does not listen, i am a menace lol, or goose only listens when voice of god benefits goose, players are the voice of god, thanks to my weirdass friends for giving me this idea lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 05:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20925173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/written_in_starlight/pseuds/written_in_starlight
Summary: It's a lovely day in the villageAnd you are a horrible goose





	Honk: The Story of a Goose

**Author's Note:**

> So this is entirely based off of when I was playing and I had like five people of varying sobriety watching and rooting for the goose and yelling headcannons

You hop down from the dumpster with a honk of triumph. Chaos has been sown in your wake. You are content. For now.

(_Where am I goinggggg_)

(_Just wander around_)

The voices in the sky have been following you all day as you’ve created your havoc. They’ve ranged from helpful (_Try dragging the basket away from the shop_), to commentary on your journey (_Noooo, give me back my ribbon you asshole!!_), to rather encouraging (_Run goose! Go go go! RUUUUNNNNN!!!_), to honking (_Honk honk! Honk! HONK!_)

But ultimately, you don’t care about the voices in the sky. After all, they can do nothing to stop you.

Because you are a goose. A horrible goose. And nobody can stop you from wreaking havoc.

So you swim down the river, intent on finding the next place to harass.

As you waddle onto shore, you catch sight of your goal. But first, more havoc to cause.

You walk up to the buildings, preparing to flap and threaten the people you find around, only to stop short as you realize. You are as tall as the building. You can look in the second story window.

…

YOU HAVE GROWN.

And with your new size, you can terrorize people like never before! You will be the Godzilla of this new town!

No.

You will be

GOOSEZILLA

If geese could smile, you would be wearing a maniacal one as you open your beak and _honk._

The house remains unrattled. You are disappointed, but not for long. You will find tiny people to terrorize in this tiny town.

Your first victims are found quickly. A boy and his mother stand by the side of a small river. You grab the boy as a hostage, then kick his mother into the river for good measure.

(_I’m taking the kid hostage!_)

(_You kicked his mother into the river!_)

(_I’m an ASSHOLE GOOSE!!_)

The boy doesn’t struggle. It’s a little bit of a disappointment. Likewise, the mother doesn’t try to escape her watery fate. No matter. You have a hostage, and you are Goosezilla.

You continue through the tiny city. It’s laid out similarly to the large one you just left behind. You gain pleasure by knocking over all the tiny people. You are unstoppable. You are Goosezilla.

(_Oh my God._)

(_Haha! I’m an asshole!_)

You’re between the pub and the backyards when you realize the woman had a bell in her backyard. That might be easier to grab. You drop your hostage and turn around.

(_Why are you going back?_)

(_I dunno, he said something about there maybe being a bell in the chick’s backyard!_)

(_Aaaah_)

(_AAAAAAH_)

There is no bell in the backyard. You are disgruntled. The voices in the sky are yelling at each other. They’re quite strange.

You waddle your way to the base of the tower, where the bell gleams high above you. You narrow your eyes. Nothing is too large for Goosezilla.

HONK!

The building remains unmoved. But you are an asshole goose, and you will destroy whatever it takes to get that bell.

You start chipping away at the tower, bit by bit, until you see a beam. You are a goose. You don’t know much about architecture and engineering, but you do know about destroying shit, so you grab the beam and tug until it comes loose. The tower wobbles.

(_Dude, it looks like the tower’s gonna fall on you_)

(_It’s fiiineee_)

The tower falls, missing you by inches.

(_That almost hit you!_)

(_You almost killed the goose!_)

(_Everything’s fine!!_)

The bell lands and you pick it up. Now to bring it home.

Unfortunately, as you retrace your steps, you realize that the full-sized villagers have been preparing for this. The pub inhabitants start chasing you when they see you with your prize.

(_No! This is my bell! I stole it fair and square!_)

Exactly, voice in the sky.

It takes some hiding and maneuvering, but you make it out of the pub, past the delivery man, and to the well. The gates you opened earlier are now latched shut again. Rats. But you remember the stairway into the canal you found earlier, where you dropped the package and the mail. That would be a fast and easy way home. You turn to go back to the pub.

(_No, what are you doing? Why are you going back???_)

(_I have an ideaaaaa_)

Unfortunately, you now see the delivery man has blocked off access to that stairway, and you have to make your escape a second time.

(_Fuck you delivery man!! I was gonna take the canal back._)

You head for the backyards. The man and woman have opened their gates, so you have to sneak through the backyards rather than continue in the alleyway. No matter. You can be a sneaky little goose.

All in all it’s going well until you realize the woman reassembled her desk, and then she sees you and _takes your bell_. You honk in indignation at her. That’s your bell!

She pays you no mind, setting the bell by her weird statue. You honk again, then remove the drawer to destroy the desk and get back into the man’s backyard, but also because you’re a force of destruction and petty as fuck. Then, you go and take your bell back and _run_. She can’t catch you, and you’re soon over the fence in the man’s backyard.

He’s guarding the little archway. Easy peasy. Except he _fixed the hole in the fence????_

(_What the fuck!!_)

You want to honk in indignation, but you need to be a sneaky goose. So you wait and watch and sneak around him to the other half of his backyard.

(_Go go go!_)

The man notices you and gives chase. You make your escape from his backyard with him right on your tail feathers.

(_Run goose run!_)

(_Run duck run!_)

(_Run boy run, this world was not meant for you_)

(_Run boy run, they’re trying to catch you. Run boy run, running is a victory._)

The voices in the sky are simultaneously encouraging and strange, singing some song. And that boy keeps calling you a duck! You are a _goose_!

But you make it away and head back for the shops.

(_Dammit, she got out of the garage!_)

That is disappointing. But no matter. You are a goose.

You try and sneak around, but the shopkeepers apprehend you and take your bell again. You honk angrily at them. That is your fucking bell!!

(_Noooo!_)

(_Fuck!_)

You honk angrily for a bit. Get it out of your system so you can be sneaky and steal back your bell. It takes a few tries, but you finally get your bell back and run, only to run into the boy. He’s found his glasses from the puddle, and he’s somewhat competent enough to steal your bell.

You narrow your eyes. You scared him into the phone booth earlier. He is _nothing _compared to you. You may be normal sized now, but you are still Goosezilla. You are _eternal_.

HONK

He jumps in fright.

HONK HONK

He starts running away from you. You herd him towards the garden, making him do the hard work of carrying your bell. As you reach the end of the alleyway, you reach out and untie his shoelace, making him trip and drop the bell so you can take it back. You honk in triumph before making your way into the garden.

(_Guys, what if the goose is stealing the bell to attract a mate_)

(_Dude what the fuck_)

(_What the hell, no!_)

Voices in the sky are strange.

The gardener is guarding the gate. You don’t see a way to sneak past him, so you lure him your way, hide in the bushes, then make a break for it.

(_Go goose go!_)

(_RUUUNNNN!!_)

The gardener catches up to you in the pond and puts your bell on his belt. You honk angrily and grab for it… and grab his keys instead.

(_The bell, not the keys!_)

(_I’m trying!_)

You toss the keys and go for the bell again. You miss. The gardener replaces his keys and continues back to the garden. You grab for the bell again and get the keys again.

(_Not the keys!_)

(_I’M TRYING!!!_)

You honk angrily as you throw the keys and go for the bell. This time, you succeed. You immediately swim away as fast as your streamlined, goose-shaped body can go. You emerge from the pond on your side. The gardener is no longer chasing you. You honk in triumph, the bell jingling merrily in your beak.

(_Yes, now bring the bell back to attract your mate!_)

(_Dude, what the actual fuck_)

You return home, bell tinkling, and carefully hang it in your bush. You ring the bell with your beak a few times, then step back, waiting.

Another goose emerges from the bushes. You watch as she inspects the bell. It is your gift for her.

She rings the bell, then honks in approval. She is pleased with your gift of bell.

Now together

You will terrorize this town.

** _HONK_ **

(_WHAT THE FUCK?!?!_)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks Brian (I can call him out bc he'll probs never read this) for coming up with the _ridiculous_ idea that Goose was stealing the bell to attract a mate  



End file.
